Chris Brown is opening up about his tumultuous relationship with ex-girlfriend Rihanna, who he was accused of assaulting in 2009.

In his new documentary, Chris Brown: Welcome to My Life, the 28-year-old entertainer said the relationship was “never okay” and he lost Rihanna‘s trust after lying about a woman he had slept with prior to their relationship.

“My trust totally was lost with her, she hated me after that. I tried everything, she didn’t care. She just didn’t trust me after that. From there, it just went downhill because there were too many verbal fights, physical fights as well. Mutual sides. It is the first time I get to say anything. We would fight each other. She would hit me, I would hit her and it never was okay,” Chris explained.

He added that the two did often try to resolve their issues.

Chris said, “There was always a point where we’d talk about it like, ‘What the f**k are we doing?’ Like, ‘I don’t like you slapping me.’ If I go on stage I got a scratch on my face and I gotta explain it like, ‘Oh, no I fell.’ If you got a scar or a bruise you gotta put makeup on. I’m not ever trying to put my hands on any female.”

He also detailed the traumatic night when he punched Rihanna in his car and what led up to that moment.

“A lot of times I look back at the pictures and go, ‘That’s not me.’ I hate it. That’s going to haunt me forever,” he said.

See what he had to say in the video below…